Earlier this year I discussed what was wrong with an advert for a cafe in my local paper. It seems that people in the food business aren’t crash hot at writing adverts as this one demonstrates. (Then again I’m probably not crash hot at the food business either.)
By the way this advertisement was in the lift out Good Food Guide of a major metropolitan newspaper. It would have cost a couple of thousand dollars to run. So let’s see at what I reckon they’ve done wrong (or at least where they could improve):
Rotten headline– The critical element of any advert is a great headline which flags down the target market and gets them to read the rest of the ad. It’s all about that first ‘A’ in AIDA… the headline is what gets attention and is an advertisement for the rest of the advertisement. Bearing in mind that this advert was placed in a good food guide then the target market surely would’ve been people who have a preference for food rather than flamenco. The possibility is to combine the two to make it even more interesting.
Off the top of my head a great headline would be something along the lines of “Authentic Spanish cuisine with an extra dash of spice!” or “Enjoy Spanish Food like you’re in Madrid” and the body copy would go on to tell the story of the headline.
Poor choice of font– As you can see from the amount of copy they crammed into the advertisement they really did have a lot to say so they naturally had to reduce the font size to get it all in. The body copy is difficult to read for two reasons… first of all it’s been reversed out of white (that’s white print on a dark background). Secondly the font size is so small that it is hugely difficult to read. This breaches that prime rule of ‘make it easy’.
Too much copy– The copy in this advertisement goes on and on about the great flamenco show with very little mention of the food. Really, they should be making a feature of the food and adding the flamenco as a titillating bonus.
A good advert sticks to the subject and, in fact, the best approach is to write the headline and then tell the story of the headline, amplifying and explaining it so that the reader understands it.
So the body copy I would have written would have been along the lines of…
“Yes, that’s right! We’ve been serving authentic Spanish food right here in Melbourne for the last 17 years. Our chef uses authentic Spanish recipes and only the best ingredients to delight you with the flavours of Spain. Our delicious dishes make even Spaniards swoon with delight…our chef’s mother thinks she’s back home in Spain when she eats here and so will you!
Naturally we serve a great Sangria and the sunny wines of Spain to perfectly complement your choice of our exciting tasty wonderful food.
And on Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights we present our full flamenco show with master guitarist whatshisname and seven fantastic flamenco dancers in a show that will have you in downtown Madrid.
Share a romantic dinner with your partner or have fun with friends any time seven nights a week. In our private room we can cater for special functions like weddings, birthdays and corporate functions.
To book or discuss your function, phone, etc…”
The story has less words than the original which means they can use a small advert and run it more often. If I’ve got a choice I like to use small ads that work and repeat them frequently.
Chose a picture as support– Whilst the three photos may make the owner proud they are really too small for the reader to work out what they are all about and there is not even a caption to explain them. I’m not sure that story really needs a picture but, if it does, then one photo of a plateful of delicious looking food would suffice. But even then I worry because small photos of food do not reproduce very well in newsprint.
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